I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
