Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
