I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
