I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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