I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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