this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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