i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
