it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize