Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
