Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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