Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
