Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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