In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
