no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
