But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
