His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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