My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
