so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
