Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
