i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
