Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
