My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
only you would photoshop your dick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
