ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
