i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
