I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
