actually, I'm a sock model
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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