I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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