chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
