he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That accounts for only three of the penises
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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