Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak

(1-323): View more from California

I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole

(1-323): View more from California

She's blonde

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(323): Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak (1-323): I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole (1-323): She's blonde http://tfl.nu/vvom

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(201): View more from New Jersey

remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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(201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k

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(713): View more from Texas

I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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(713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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(813): I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching. http://tfl.nu/tbhw

Replies (30) Good night (711) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

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(262): My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here... http://tfl.nu/iwch

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(407): View more from Florida

I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.

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(407): I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong. http://tfl.nu/42z4

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(409): View more from Texas

There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

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(409): There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit. http://tfl.nu/49qn

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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(603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb

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(712): View more from Iowa

They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.

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(712): They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem. http://tfl.nu/r408

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(778): View more from British Columbia

It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.

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(778): It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman. http://tfl.nu/chx9

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(714): View more from California

im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

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(714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats. http://tfl.nu/387j

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Except even better, boobs get discounts.

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(307): Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8. (307): Except even better, boobs get discounts. http://tfl.nu/cz7z

Replies (11) Good night (1836) Bad night (350)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?

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(901): Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going? http://tfl.nu/ugit

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(314): View more from Missouri

For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.

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(314): For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo. http://tfl.nu/n4q2

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore are you.

(301): View more from Maryland

Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yes.

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(202): Whore are you. (301): Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am? (202): Yes. http://tfl.nu/xx42

Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (66)

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