who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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