Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm having to shit out rocks
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