Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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