I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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