Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize