My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do vagina's smell?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
