I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
