sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize