How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the day after is always just damage control
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
