i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
