I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
