Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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