You work out of a Hotel?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
