pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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