I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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