I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
