She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
