i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize