i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
