one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
