I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
