It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
