Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
