when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
