between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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