Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
worst night to have a conscience
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
