Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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