its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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