We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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