white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
