I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
