listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
True strength comes from lack of pants
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
