We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
